What Happens in the Bakery Stays in the Bakery!

Every now and then, when I meet people in the bakery who are obviously buying a donut, they look skittish and sheepish, as if they are ashamed to be in a bakery, as if their purchase is demeaning to their humanity.  "I know I shouldn't do this," some of them say, "but I just can't help myself."  "These are sinfully good," othesr say.  "I try to stay away," others gasp, "but I am weak."

Indeed.

But, like Luther once proclaimed:  "Sin, and sin boldly."  (I got this quote from some Lutheran friends, but I'm not sure Luther said it . . . kind of like all the fluff people attribute to John Wesley that he never said.)

So . . . I'll say it.

Go ahead and eat a donut now and then.  It is good for the soul. 
    --Todd Outcalt, modern-day donut guru and patron saint of pastries

This quote is taken fresh from my upcoming book:  You Can't Take it With You:  But You Can Carry A Little Around Your Middle.

When I meet a friend in Dunkin' Donuts or Krispy Kreme, I don't turn away.  I face temptation head-on.  I order boldly and pour cream into my coffee, too.  Oh, there are times I'll make a comment like, "Of course, I'm heading to the gym after this" or " . . . this is for my wife, not me!"  But I don't want to add a lie on top of the coconut, so I usually just take a bite. 

If there are other sinners out there who want to form a Krispy Kreme Klub, let me know.  I'll be your pastor. 

Dreaming of Donuts

On Monday, after making hospital visits to IU Methodist and Riley, I found myself dreaming of donuts.  Certain concoctions scrolled through my head:  the lemon filled, the toasted coconut, the chocolate frosted.  I passed several bakeries, including a now-vacant store front that used to be home to Crawfords bakery--directly across the street from Methodist on Capital Ave.

Crawfords was one of those family bakeries that I often visited as an aftershock--especially if I had made a visit in the hospice wing.  When one is dealing in death, a donut is a spirit-filled offering that raises hope as well as blood-sugar levels. 

I often dream of donuts when I'm driving, and I keep my eyes peeled for new opportunities.  I noted two bakeries on 86th street that I hope  to visit in the near future, and I've got them pegged on my GPS.

Strange as it sounds, I also find that I lose weight when I'm eating more donuts.  As I haven't eaten many donuts in the past two weeks, I've gained four pounds.

I've got to get back to my roots.  I've got to visit those new bakeries.

There's a donut waiting for me . . . and it's the one I keep dreaming about.

My Oldest Donuts

Bakeries generally shed day-old donuts.  They usually give them to homeless shelters.  But I'm willing to buy.

A few weeks ago I encountered a pile of these "seconds" in Long's Bakery and had to leave the store with a few in tow.  Inexpensive.

But there's a secret to eating day-old donuts:  Dunk 'em.

Hot coffee is the great equalizer when it comes to seconds.  Dunk a day-old it freshens up quite nicely.

I've dunked donuts so stale they could have been used as a door-stopper.  But once they hit the drink, there's no telling how old they are. 

My oldest donuts have been at least a week old.  I've eaten donuts that were so old, we were on a first-name basis.  I've eaten donuts that were so old, I'm sure they were embalmed.  And I've eaten donuts that were so old, they had outcroppings of new growth on them.  But that just means there is more to love.

The next time you happen upon a bakery, don't look past the day-old shelf.  There are some great bargains there. 

Believe me.  I know.

And remember . . . all things, including donuts, in moderation!

The Pampered Donut

As I prepare to lead my fourth funeral in ten days, I thought I deserved a little extra . . . so this morning I'm going out for donuts (very early in the morning!).  I plan to gorge--since I'll be working out at the gym first.  I plan on drinking my fill of coffee, too.

This year (just like the past two years) I have not "given up" anything for Lent. Instead, I've made a commitment to "add" new disciplines to my life or my practice or my health.  Why take something away when you can add something better?  Anyway, it seems to me Jesus would like adding better than subtracting.  I'd rather serve more, give more, do more, help more, or be more . . . rather than try to be something I ain't or take away something that I'm just going to add back later.  I'd rather add something to my life that might stick around for the longer haul (more on this in my Easter message).

So . . . the donuts stay in my diet.  And hopefully, so will a few new practices.

For now, while I'm burying the dead, I'll be eating lots of pastries.  And if anyone wonders why I'm late to a funeral, don't look for me among the dead, but among the living . . . I'll be the one sitting at the table over a box of Krispy Kremes with a steaming cup of coffee between my hands.

I won't be long, however.  Death never takes a holiday.

The Coffee For Donuts

This donut blog is principally about the search for the perfect pastry . . . but we can't overlook the pairing of coffee with donuts.  And when it comes to finding the perfect coffee, one can't go wrong with the Casi Cielo blend from Starbucks.

This blend, which is only offered in the month of February, is also a staple in fine restaurants and is a Guatemalan blend . . . generally regarded as one of the top growing regions of the world.

I finished my final pot of Casi Cielo this morning and have felt rather blue all day.  Casi has that smooth finish that makes a cup of coffee not only enjoyable, but memorable.  Add a little cream . . . nothing quite like it.

And, if one is looking for a nice complement to a cup of Casi Cielo while reclining in a Starbucks chair, why not try one of the raspberry scones?  It may not be the perfect start to a morning, but it will get you half way there.

And remember . . . all things, including donuts, in moderation! 

PayDay

On Tuesday I found a $60 check in my mailbox, addressed to me, as payment for an article I wrote about donuts.  It's good to know that my donut fetish is finally paying off.

Now, some of you are probably wondering: how can you make money writing donut articles? 

It's simple.  First, I am a professional writer . . . and secondly, who better to write about donuts than me . . . and if not me, who? . . . and if not now, when?  I was just fortunate enough to write a donut article worthy of a pay day, but then again, I wasn't really fortunate because I actually wrote the donut article, and without the article there was no chance of being paid.  So, I'm the donut man.

I hope there are other editors out there who will recognize my expertise in this field.  Perhaps there are other editors in the environs of New York and Saskatchewan who are talking right now, saying amongst themselves:  "We need more articles about donuts, and this chap in Brownsburg is just the fellow to deliver.  Didn't he just write an article about the Bear Claw?  And if he can do Bear Claws, God only knows what he can do with jelly-filled!"

I'm waiting by the phone right now, anticipating other offers this week, large offers, that will have me writing about the top donut franchises perhaps, or about the growing significance of coconut in the donut lineup, or maybe even an article about the relationship between donuts and law enforcement.  I can write anything donut-related, and I can do my own research, too!  If tasting is required, I assume I can purchase a dozen and use my receipt as a tax deduction (research and development expenses). 

Regardless . . . I'm writing more about the donut later this week.  And my new windfall will help some young baker work his way through culinary school.  I like to give back.  And a culinary school would be just the place to send my $60.

But someday, perhaps, this same baker will grow up to become a famous chef and invite me over for dessert in his four-star restaurant.  He already has my order.  And I assume my meal will be "on the house". 

The Dunkin' Daylights

I've recently discovered that Dunkin' Donuts is a fantastic place for pastoral conversation.  Increasingly, I'm enjoying the fact that people prefer to meet me there for coffee and conversation:  planning, counsel, support, or otherwise.

I'm glad to oblige.  I'll even buy the donuts and coffee.

The last time I visited I also inquired about my job application.  Any openings for a old guy like me who wants to get into the quality control position?  Guess not.

Places like Dunkin' are thriving again because--like Starbucks--they provide a social setting for conversation and relaxation.  It's amazing what people will talk about when you place some hot coffee and a tasty donut in front of them.

Jesus might have enjoyed these places, too.  And had their been a Dunkin' in Galilee, he may never have left his home town.

 

My Hilligoss Experience 2

Watching Phil Hilligoss fry yeast donuts and glaze them was like watching a painter work on a canvass.  The entire process of lifting the dough off the racks, dropping the rings into the hot oil, taking them out (a dozen per stick) and then glazing them with sugar was one constant movement of proficiency.  And believe me, there's nothing like a freshly-glazed hot yeast donut.  Tops.

Spending a Saturday morning in a working bakery was amazing.  I'm grateful to Mike and Philip for giving me the opportunity to observe their business.  Understanding how they do it, I now know why people speak so highly of Hilligoss goods.  Truly, care has gone into every bite, and every single one of these donuts was nurtured from its doughy-beginning to its tasty-end.

The next time you have a hankering for a donut, you know where your nose will lead you.  Mainstreet.  Brownsburg.  Hilligoss.

Give me a call.  I'll meet you there.

My Hilligoss Experience 1

Thanks to Mike & Philip Hilligoss, my recent Saturday morning foray into the wonderful world of baking was not only educational, but delicious.  We started with coffee, and it was not yet 5 a.m.  Nothing like waking up among the aromas of fresh dough.

Donuts begin, of course, in the mixer.  And the dough is mixed fresh every morning at Hilligoss from a batch that, as far as I know, may be the 1000th generation of the first batch mixed nearly forty years ago.  I'm assuming that, since the Hilligoss goods have a distinctive taste and texture, the dough-recipe is a secret.  And it should be!  The dough keeps going and going and going . . . kind of like the Energizer Bunny. 

From the first batch of the morning (the first proof rolling and cutting) the glazed donuts are prepared.  This first cutting insures that the donuts, once fried in the oil, will be moist and tender.  The second cutting--dough that is saved and re-rolled after the first proof--is used to make other pastries such as the pecan rolls and the various danish (apple, apricot, cherry).  But it's all GOOD.

Watching Phil and Mike cut their way through these mounds of dough was an experience . . . and at one point Phil tried to kill me by giving me a warm pecan glaze fresh from the oven.  Believe me, it was to die for.  With a glass of skim milk in hand, I could have gone into sugar shock and would have died a happy  man.

The entire enterprise was like a well-oiled machine, and after an hour, I was amazed at how much product Mike and Phil and the staff had produced.  There were rows of fresh glazed and mounds of jelly filled; heaps of danish; stacks of holes. And as I mentioned in an earlier blog--an art form.

And here's another thing . . . those balls of dough that come out of the inside of the donut . . . they are not really "holes" are they?  They are more like the middle of a donut.

Or, as some might call them . . . heaven.

As for breakfast or lunch today, you know where you're going.  Better make the drive before they run out of your favorites.

My 4 a.m. Saturday

A few days ago I was offered a rare "insiders" glimpse into a working bakery.  Mike & Philip Hilligoss were gracious enough to invite me into the Hilligoss Bakery (a Brownsburg Icon!) and observe them as they went through their paces.  I thank them for their hospitality and the opportunity.

I rose at 4 a.m. that Saturday, not too much earlier than I often rise, but for a Saturday, 4 a.m. was ungodly . . . and I drove across town, knocked on the rear door of the bakery, and was ushered into the warm lair of these incredible pastries in-progress.  I'm a big Hilligoss fan, as I often get a donut AFTER my workouts at Brownsburg Fitness. But seeing these guys in action gave me an even deeper appreciation for the artistry of the craft.  And yes, it was art, my friends! 

I'm going to write about my Hilligoss experience this week . . . so you'll have to tune in on Wednesday & Friday for a full report.

But for now let me say . . . I now know the reason why I am a donut-lover. I have been to the promised land and I have seen the milk and honey and I have tasted the fat of the land (and am holding some of it around my middle) and boy does it taste good!  And there's a reason why they call them "dough"nuts.

The secret is in the dough.  And that's where we'll begin.  Next time.

And until then remember . . . all things, including donuts, in moderation!

Are "Donettes" Donuts?

Now and again we encounter these small chocolate-covered or powder-covered "donettes" on snack tables or contenental breakfast buffets.  But before we eat them, we ask: "Are these really donuts?"

It's a great question--not merely existential in origin--but from a dietary perspective as well.  If you can pop it whole into your mouth, is it really a donut?  Isn't a donut a food one can dunk or break apart? 

Last week I conducted my own informal poll and arrived at the conclusion that 50% of Americans believe the donette is a donut, and 50% believe it is not.  I also learned that the poll does not reflect political or religious affiliation, but reflects an evenly divided populace. (*)

I would, however, like to expand my poll numbers and that is why I'm asking for your help.  Would you like to weigh in?  Drop me a line and tell me what you think:  Is the donette a donut?

(*) Poll percentages reflect an accuracy give or take 50%, as two people were polled--one a Catholic and the other a Methodist.  Sex may also be a factor, as both were males, and one had eaten a donette within 24-hours of the polling.